I Wanna Be A Female, Too!
by Kahnartis
Summary: The male mind works in ways that we can never understand. Just take a look at how innocent comments are misconstrued. And sadly, what's revealed is the truth for the majority of males, whether they admit it or not.
1. Chapter 1

I Wanna Be a Female, Too!

_As there is always an exception to a rule._

AN: This is the result of 48+ hours without sleep, watching Teen Titans Go, and having some random conversations with my brother during sleep-deprivation.

AN#2: I own nothing.

**Kurosaki Ichigo and Abarai Renji **

"Kurosaki-kun! Abarai-kun! How are you? I heard there was a fight earlier. Are you okay?" a worried voice called out to the two brightly haired males.

"Don't worry yourself over these idiots, Orihime." said the dark haired girl standing beside the busty orange haired girl.

"But Tatsuki-chan! They could be hurt."

"Please. It looks to me like they have been working out. Besides, this isn't exactly uncommon." the dark haired girl replied.

"That's true. Kurosaki-kun, have you been working out?" Orihime asked with a more chipper tone than what she was using moments ago.

"Yeah."

"I can tell." And with that, the two girls walked away. Well, one was more of being pushed away by the other girl. Neither of the girls noticed the dumb smiles on either of the men's faces.

**Kuchiki Byakuya **

He was out of the office for a lunch meeting with a business partner. There's a business deal up in the air and it like be beneficial for them both. Not that they needed it. They were well off financially as it was. But it would be a major blockade for either of their competitors to overcome. Near the end of the lunch, a very tipsy Matsumoto made her way to their table.

"Matsumoto. What in the world are you doing drunk? You have a presentation for the board in a few hours." said Hitsugaya Toshiro, Matsumoto's boss.

"Mou. Lighten up boss man!" She looks at the man sitting across from her boss. "Oh! Kuchiki-san! Is that a new suit? It makes you look very handsome indeed! No one else can carry it off like you."

Even if it wasn't shown through more than a slight smirk, Byakuya's ego instead three sizes at her comment. He was a male after all. Perhaps the most sociable, but still male nonetheless.

"Is that a good thing, Matsumoto?"

"Oh yes. It's a very good thing. No one can match up to you, Kuchiki-san!" And with that, the woman left the restaurant leaving behind one very pleased male and one very annoyed male.

**Hitsugaya Toshiro**

_'Don't forget about your men's night tonight. I can't believe you're ditching me for a group of boys. We never miss a Saturday date. And here you are canceling.'_

_'I know. I'm sorry. I can't back out though.' _

_'You've backed out plenty of times before.' _

_'I know. And that's why I am going tonight.' _

_'That's what I love about you. You're so honorable. Going to hang with some idiots instead of spending time with the one who loves you and hasn't seen you for the past couple of weeks. That totally makes sense.' _

_'It is an emergency meeting!' _

_'And how long have you known about it?' _

_'I can't get out of it. Simple as that. I'll see you afterwards though. I promise.' _

_'And if it's an all nighter?' _

_'I'll still come by your place and ask to crash on your couch.' _

**Izuru Kira**

Note to self. Attempting "research" in a mall is a bad idea. In fact, it is a very bad idea. Possibly one of the worst ideas ever!

"Kira-kun! What are you doing here?" Kira turns around at the sound of a voice he hasn't heard in almost two months. Hinamori Momo.

"Oh, I was just killing time walking around. You?"

"I'm trying to find some stuff for Matsumoto's party next week!" she replied sounding awfully chipper. Then again, she is just a naturally chipper person.

"Do you need any help?" he offered as a way to both kill and spend time time with his friend.

"Sure, if you want to help, I'd love it!"

"I don't see why not; it's not like I have—" And with that she grabbed his hand and they headed off to stores where they could do their shopping.

Three hours later, Momo had all of her supplies for the party and smiling Kira was on his way home. One thought repeating in his mind.

_"It was so nice to see you again, Kira-kun. We should get together again sometime!"_

**The Oh-So Important Emergency Meeting**

Five people glaring. Three directed at one male. Another at the two glaring at the first male. One directed all the occupants of the room.

The male that was receiving the most glares finally decided to break the silence that had lasted for over ten minutes. An impressive feat considering whose company he was in right now. "This had better be important."

"How do you do it, man?" two of the men asked.

"Do what, use my brain? You have to have one first. Once you get one, then I will tell you." the male responded.

"While that may be true for Kurosaki and Abarai, I must admit a certain interest in why we are all here for this 'emergency' meeting." said the oldest of the group.

"Ask the idiots if you are so interested, Byakuya."

"You know, I wish I was a female sometimes." Izuru said quietly.

All four turn their heads to the blonde sitting near a corner. Each with an expression of disbelief on his face. It was Byakuya who found his voice first. "Come again?"

Kira realizes how that must have sounded and quickly sought to correct it. "Not like that! I just wish I could to them or any other male what they do to us!"

"Explain." Hitsugaya ordered.

"Well, for instance, I was hanging out with Momo at the mall earlier. It was good to see her again. She kept saying that she was glad to see me again, and when we lef tshe told me we should get together again."

"That's it?" Hitsugaya asked in a voice full of disbelief.

"What do you mean 'that's it?' Can't you see she was totally crushing on him! Good job, Izuru!" Renji defended.

"Hitsugaya is correct. All she did was offer to meet up again as friends. Nothing more. Nothing less." Byakuya argued.

"You probably would have taken up the same offer if it was Matsumoto who offered." Hitsugaya said, not really caring that Byakuya was on his side at the moment.

"Yo, Byakuya! You and Matsumoto? Since when?" Ichigo asked clearly surprised at the fact that Kuchiki Byakuya could be seeing someone.

"Lunch today. She was drunk. She flirted. He flirted back in his own way." Hitsugaya answered.

"Wow! That's unheard of! Rukia's gonna love to hear about this!" Renji added.

"Not like you're in the clear, Renji. I remember that stupid smile on your face earlier this week when Tatsuki pointed out that it looked you had been working out." Ichigo said just to point out that he was not any better than the others.

"You had one one too when Orihime said the same thing you, idoit!" Renji shot right back.

"You know, Izuru may have a point." Byakuya said nonchalantly.

Hitsugaya shot him a disbelieving look. "Like what?"

"As a male, we know what to say and do that would get any guy to fall for a female. In fact, it would be easier for us to do so than a female." Byakuya explained.

"Exactly. We just take things they say about us looking good, working out, and wanting to see us again as a sign that they are interested in us. The truth of it all is that they usually are not. At least not all of them are romantic interests." Hitsugaya responded.

"So you're saying that you don't wish you could get Rukia back by being a female?" Ichigo asked.

"If I were to do that, I'd be a female hitting on another female. I don't need to be a female to make Rukia swoon over me. Now, if this all, I am heading out to see my girlfriend. Next time, make sure the emergency is an actual emergency."

"You know, I didn't think about that. I'm happy being a male." Kira said once the door closed behind Hitsugaya.

**Hitsugaya**

Hitsugaya quickly made his way to Rukia's place. Once there, he unlocked the door and when inside. There sitting on the couch was Rukia in her favorite pajamas and holding the choppy bunny he won her at some carnival game.

"Rukia…"

"You know. I heard a really interesting story today from Matsumoto. She told me she saw you and nii-sama having lunch today."

"Rukia. Lunch with your brother was something that needed to happen sooner or later; there was business to be taken care of."

"This isn't the welcome back I wanted to give you." Rukia admitted.

"It's not the one I was expecting either." Hitsugaya said as he made his way over to sit beside Rukia on the couch. "Can I get my welcome back now?"

"I still want an explanation."

"Tomorrow, love."

Rukia smiles before throwing her arms around him whispering that she missed while he was gone. Hitsugaya also smiles softly telling her that he missed her as well. He held onto her until she fell asleep. He kisses her hair and closes his eyes as well.

He may be sleeping on the couch tonight, but he wasn't alone. He has everything he needs in his arms. And it seems like tomorrow the black velvet box that is in his luggage will be pulled out. After all, that was one of the main reasons he had lunch with her brother. He knew she appreciate the thought of getting permission first.

Yes. He didn't want or need to be a female, and he is sure that Rukia would agree with him on that.


	2. Chapter 2

Sequel to I Wanna Be A Female, Too!

This time it's the girls turn to wish they were the opposite gender.

**Tatsuki**

"Hey! Tatsuki! You gonna come to the park after school? A bunch of us are gonna be there." a tall haired male asked.

"I might after practice if you're still there." the girl replied.

"I don't see why you practice so much everyday. Just be like me. I only go to the gym a couple times a week, and I'm in shape."

"Perhaps thats the reason I am a nationally ranked athlete, and you're not, Renji." she quipped. "Tell the others I'll come by when I'm done."

With that, the redhead left to deliver the message, not knowing his words were still ringing in the girl's mind.

_I only go to the gym a couple times a week, and I'm in shape._

**Orihime**

"Ichigo!" a busty female called out. "Make them stop!"

"Ignore them." the tall male responded as he kept walking through through the mall.

"They keep coming up." she said while walking beside him.

"It's your own fault, Orihime." Ichigo sighed. "Look, just keep walking and ignore them. They'll leave you alone."

**Matsumoto**

"You're going to be late if you don't finish getting ready soon." a serious voice called out to the woman behind the door.

"Shut up! I bet you take forever getting dressed as well, Byakuya!" the female replied back.

"Nonsense. I do not need to spend hours to get myself to achieve my appearance." he smoothly said.

"Just shut up!" she almost yelled as she opened the door. "Now come on, I don't want to be late for work again. Hitsugaya will kill me for sure!"

"That sounds like a personal problem, my dear."

**Momo**

"Here, let me get that." a blonde man said as he took a box out of a female's hands.

"It wasn't that heavy, Kira. I could have gotten it myself." she replied.

"I know. I just don't want you to hurt yourself, you've only been out of the hospital for a few months now, Momo." Kira responded.

"That doesn't mean I'm an invalid!"

**Weekly Lunch**

To a passerby, the group of five women sitting at the table may seem a bit odd to be seen together — two busty women, an athletically built dark haired woman, a brunette woman with warm brown eyes, and a dark haired female with dark eyes — but not impossibly so.

To a passerby, they would all seem to be a mix of calm, peaceful, with some a bit more talkative than the others, and happy.

Rukia isn't just a random passerby though. She can see the way her friends are tensed. One is hard enough to deal with at times, now she has four currently silently fuming females to attempt to calm down.

When it comes to this, there are three options. Option One: talk it out with the women. Option Two: let the women rant and calm down themselves. Option Three: combination of one and two. Rukia had a feeling that Option Three was going to be he way to go today.

"Renji has been driving me insane!" Tatsuki said, no longer able to stand the silence when she was more frustrated than peaceful at the moment.

Rukia watched at three sets of eyes instantly focused in on Tatsuki. She could already see exactly where this was going to go. Inwardly, she sighed as continued to listen to the woman speaking.

"He eats anything and everything, goes to the gym for a couple of hours a week, and is in perfect shape! It's not fair! I always have to work out with my martial arts, and when I do get to have some junk food, I have to exercise more to work it off!" she complained.

"I know what you mean Tasuki-chan. It's the same with Ichigo. The only time we as females get recognition for working out is when a guy asks if we have been, then tells us that we seemed to have gained some weight!" Orihime added.

"Ichigo did that?" Momo said in disbelief. "That's so unlike him!"

"That's not all he did either! We were at the mall earlier this week, and all these guys kept hitting on me, and he told me that it's my fault for getting hit on by the male population!"

"So… did he try to stop them or anything?" a curious Matsumoto asked.

"He just told me to ignore it, act like it wasn't happening, and keep moving along." Orihime said. "I don't get it. He doesn't get hit on in public places. It's times this that I wish I could be a male."

Rukia could do nothing but blink her eyes in surprise before the others had their own reactions.

"I know! Think about it… we could get up and walk around with messy hair, and still look fashionable! No hours on end of trying to fix our hair and clothing!" Matsumoto passionately agreed.

"We could actually do something without someone worrying over our health 24/7!" Momo said enthusiastically.

"What about you, Rukia? You haven't really said anything so far." Tatsuki said.

"I've had no reason to say anything thus far." Rukia responded.

"Surely you feel the same way, right?" Momo asked.

"Not at all. I enjoy being a female. I don't get upset that Toshiro may have some things easier than I do." Rukia said, waiting to see if someone would take the bait.

"What do you mean?" Orihime questioned, curious to know the answer.

_Bingo._

"Think about it, how would tease your guy if you were a male? How could you get yourself out of trouble if you were a male? How could you receive practically anything you wanted if you were a male?" Rukia answered. "Sure, they have a few advantages over us, but we have way more advantages over them!"

All the females responded in agreement before moving on to happier, lighter, and a bit more trivial topics.

**Rukia**

Rukia was so glad to be back home. It had been a long day at work. It seemed as though everything that could have gone wrong did go wrong. The white door had never looked quite as inviting as it at that moment.

As soon as she opened the door, she was able to spot the familiar white hair on her couch. She could tell that he was taking a nap, so she quietly made her way over to him. His face was peaceful.

Just as she was about to move from the couch, a hand found her wrist and held on to her.

"Have a good nap?" she teased.

"Waking up to see you was better." he replied silkily as he entwined their fingers together. "What time is it?"

"Almost eleven." she said quietly.

"Rukia."

"I know. I'm sorry. I'm not meaning to stay so late lately. It's just we have a really big event coming up, and my boss is sick again, and he put me in charge, and…" she rambled until he put his hand over her mouth.

"Rukia, you're tired and you're rambling. Get some sleep, then you can tell me about having to deal with a bunch of Matsumoto-ish people in the morning."

"Okay…" she said as she made her way down the hall to the bedroom.

She had raised her hand to brush some of the hair out of her face and saw the ring Toshiro had given her the morning after a long business trip.

No. She didn't need to be a male to have a seemingly easier life. She had a perfect male that was willing to make her life easier in whatever way he could for her. It may not be shown through dozens of red roses or fancy restaurants every day, but by simply falling asleep on the couch waiting for her to get home or telling her to get some rest meant more to her at that moment.

No, she definitely didn't want


End file.
